Types of People I No Longer Associate With

One of the most liberating things about moving to a big city where you don't know anyone is that you're also leaving behind people in the previous stage of your life who were not making a positive contribution. I believe the people you surround yourself with can be the most influential thing in your life; they can influence the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you act. Whether we like it or not, relationships we forge throughout our lives does have great power to influence us.

There's a quote by Jim Rohn that states "we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with" and I wholeheartedly agree, and it makes sense when you consider the law of averages. As I get older, I have become more fickle with the people I decide to surround myself with. It can be hard to "break up" with people who you have known for a long time, but as I have stated in prior blog posts: the relationship you have with people do have expiration dates and sometimes it's inevitable to say goodbye.

I have come to accept that I will be constantly changing and my life will be moving - hopefully - steadily ahead rather than remain stagnant. I hope the people in all stages of my life are good people who will encourage my growth and emit positivity. As I continue to focus on bettering myself as a person, it's been easier to recognise people who are either holding me back or are - excuse me sounding like a parent - simply a bad influence.

These are some of the types of people I have stopped associating myself with and refuse to bond with in the future:

The unmotivated
It's amazing that you can be enrolled at one of the top universities in one of the most advanced countries, and yet people still don't appreciate that enough. It's as if they don't realise that they're paying £27K for tuition (and sometimes more if you're an international), judging from the way they treat university.

You know the kind of people I'm talking about; they go on nights out 3 times a week and never turns up to lecture. They do their coursework the night before. They don't revise for exams and spends time complaining about it. They just sleep and miss their morning lectures simply because they "can't be bothered."

"I don't feel like going, can you sign the register for me?"

"Ugh, I'm stressing so much, I haven't revised for anything for this exam."

These people don't think ahead, they don't make choices which will benefit them in the future, and they refuse to grow up. It's not always academic or career related either, sometimes it's just a day to day thing of constant complaints and then doing absolutely nothing to change it.

I began to notice the more I was around people like this, it was very hard to not also pick up the same outlook. I'm not blaming them, but I knew if I was constantly in that environment it wasn't going to help me grow or succeed.

The unambitious 
This one relates lightly to the previous point but it's more focused on people who don't have the passion or the drive in life. Even some of the most conventional norms such as moving out, applying for grad jobs (not even securing them, I'm speaking the bare minimum of even making an attempt), and making something out of their lives that's more than just living from paycheck to paycheck. They're used to the comfort zone of working part time in a low-commitment job, they love the student life, and they don't want to make the effort of getting a career.

In no way am I saying the 9-to-5 office job is the sign of success, not in the slightest. I'm talking about growth and wanting to do more with the life and opportunities you've been given.

Don't apply to do a masters degree just because "you don't know what to do after you graduate." Don't even try to justify the money aspect by saying that you can take out a loan, you have to pay that shit back. Students treating student loans as free money is so mind boggling. Even if you do find a way to justify the money, how are you going to justify the time? You're going into another year of education because you didn't think ahead about what was going to happen after you graduate. When the time comes and you finish your master's degree, then what? Some people forget how fast time flies.

Please do not settle for working part time waiting tables and then having random nights out on the occasion as the life to live. By no means am I putting people who do that for a living down, but if you are a student studying a degree then the least you can do is pursue more.There are so many opportunities for you, all you have to do is try and want it hard enough. If you're over the age of 23 then it might be the time to really think long term and what you want in life rather than settling for what you have now because ehhh "it'll do."

The materialistic
The ones who rave over brand names and put other people down for shopping at Primark. Or just the ones who choose to spend money on a designer handbag and shoes when they don't even have any money in their savings account.

Maybe it's the Asian thing of "reputation" and always having to be better than the people around you by flashing the things you have. I have been around people who spend hundreds of pounds on shoes, clothes, jewellery (aka things they don't need) when they are in their overdrafts. Then, thanks to University giving all of us the chance to meet different people from all backgrounds, I have met people who are loaded and have enough money in their savings account to buy themselves a house (at our age!) and they still buy Tesco value pasta sauce and have no care at all for things like clothes or brand names.

Just shows really that the poor stay poor by acting rich, and the rich stay rich by acting poor. These people do not have their priorities straight and having that kind of mindset in your life will not do you any good.

The time waster
The people that don't value my time - the people who don't respect me enough to care about my time - were the people I kept around my life for way longer than they deserved. We'll all have these people in our lives.

I'm not going to be naming and shaming but I will be giving a little anecdote. Sometimes last winter, I was at home and just getting ready for work. I lived in Loughborough and worked in Nottingham which meant I had to commute a little bit and required some time out of my hand. This friend of mine at the time popped up and said we should meet for a quick catch up over coffee since it had been a while. Now, despite me having work that same evening, I decided I could set off an hour earlier and spend some time with her.

So, I had given up some of my time and gone out of my way to see her. We had agreed to meet at 3:45 PM. I live a good 40-minute walk away from town (or a 20-minute bike ride). That day was one of those drizzling and cold winter day, I had to set off earlier on my bike to meet her. Obviously, whilst biking I couldn't be on my phone. I arrived in town at 3:40. You know what happened when I arrived? Text messages from her telling me she had to leave because she had a lecture to go to. She thought "I was going to be late" even though I arrived on time. Why did she tell me to meet her at that time if she knew she had to be elsewhere?

It wasn't a one-time thing either. Things like that continued to happen where she would arrange plans and then cancel last minute. I completely understand not feeling up for plans you've made a few days ago but when it's on a regular it gets too much. It's also a sense of integrity; if you're someone who is always saying you'll do something and never live up to those words, how can you expect people to ever believe anything you say?

People who are always late and never meet you at the time they say should also be on everyone's blacklist.


And that's my list for the types of people who I will no longer choose to be around. I am not saying I am above any of these people. Actually, I've been them before and sometimes I can still be a bit unmotivated or materialistic (no Gup you do not need another pair of shoes). One of my most guilty crimes in this list is constantly being late to meeting friends and making them wait ages for me.I think it's all just a journey and it's just a start to recognise some of the traits that you do not want to have and traits which you don't want to be encircled by.

Thanks for reading! This post was a bit rantier than others.

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